Being stuck when an ex-partner obstructs plans to sell a jointly owned property is frustrating. We’ve helped hundreds of homeowners navigate this difficult situation, and while it may feel overwhelming right now, there are practical solutions available. The key is understanding your legal options and finding the approach that works for your circumstances.
Here, we cover how to sell a house when one partner refuses, drawing on our experience helping couples through separation and the legal processes designed to resolve property disputes.
Understanding Jointly Owned Property
When you purchased your property together, you’ll have chosen one of two ownership structures. Understanding which applies to you is important because it affects your rights and options.
Joint Tenancy
As Gov.uk explains, joint tenants have equal rights to the whole property – neither person has a specific “share.” The property automatically passes to the surviving owner if one partner dies, and you cannot pass on your ownership in a will. Crucially, it’s much more difficult to sell without the agreement of all joint tenants.
Married couples often choose this arrangement for its simplicity and automatic inheritance. However, when relationships break down, this “all or nothing” structure can make things complicated.
Tenants in Common
Tenants in common, by contrast, each hold a distinct share in the property – these shares can be equal or unequal. For example, one partner might own 60% and the other 40%, reflecting different contributions to the deposit or mortgage. Each owner can leave their share to whoever they choose in their will.
This arrangement offers more flexibility but involves greater legal complexity. It’s often chosen by unmarried couples, friends buying together, or those wanting clearer exit strategies.
Declaration of Trust
Regardless of which ownership type you have, you may have signed a Declaration of Trust (also called a Deed of Trust) when purchasing the property. As Citizens Advice notes, this is a legal agreement that records how you share the property and what should happen if you separate.
If you have one, it may already set out a process for selling or buying out shares. Check your paperwork or ask your conveyancer – it could simplify matters considerably.
Can You Force Your Ex-Partner to Sell?
The short answer is: not without their agreement or a court order. Neither co-owner can force the other to sell, and equally, neither can be forced to sell without legal intervention.
However, if negotiation fails, there is a clear legal route available.
Applying to Court Under TOLATA
The Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996 (TOLATA) allows any co-owner to apply to the court for an order regarding jointly owned property. Under Section 14, you can ask the court to order a sale even if your co-owner disagrees.
When deciding whether to grant an order for sale, the court considers several factors under Section 15 of the Act, including:
- The original intentions and purpose of the property purchase
- The welfare of any children who live in the property or might reasonably be expected to live there
- The interests of any secured creditors (such as mortgage lenders)
- The circumstances and wishes of all parties involved
In our experience helping clients through these situations, courts generally favour ordering a sale when there’s no compelling reason to delay – particularly when there are no dependent children involved and one party genuinely needs access to their capital.
Important: TOLATA claims should be a last resort. Courts expect parties to attempt negotiation or mediation first. Legal costs can range from £2,000 to £20,000 or more depending on complexity, though successful applicants often recover costs from the other party.
We’d always recommend seeking advice from a property dispute solicitor before pursuing this route.
What If Children Are Involved?
When dependent children live in the property, the court’s primary concern is their welfare. This doesn’t automatically mean a sale will be refused, but it does change how the court approaches the decision.
For Married Couples: Mesher Orders
If you’re divorcing rather than simply separating, the family court has additional powers. According to MoneyHelper (the government-backed financial guidance service), the court can defer the sale of the home through a “Mesher Order.”
A Mesher Order postpones the sale until a specific “trigger event” occurs – typically when the youngest child reaches 18, finishes secondary education, or when the resident parent remarries or cohabits with a new partner. The sale proceeds are then divided according to the court order.
This arrangement allows children to remain in the family home during their formative years while ensuring both parties eventually receive their share of the property value.
A case we helped with: We recently assisted a couple in North London where the mother needed to remain in the family home with their two children, but the father was reluctant to agree any terms. Their solicitors negotiated a Mesher Order that allowed the children stability until finishing school, with clear terms for the eventual sale. When the time came three years later, we were able to complete the sale within four weeks, allowing both parties to move forward.
For Unmarried Couples
Mesher Orders are only available through divorce proceedings. If you’re unmarried, the TOLATA route applies instead. The court will still consider children’s welfare as a key factor, but the framework is different.
As Citizens Advice explains, unmarried couples don’t automatically have the same property rights as married couples – there’s no such thing as “common law marriage” in England and Wales. This makes it particularly important for cohabiting couples to understand their legal position and seek professional advice.
Is It Possible to Buy Your Partner Out?
If you’d prefer to keep the property rather than sell, buying out your partner’s share can be a practical solution – provided you have sufficient finances.
How a Buyout Works
The legal process for buying out a co-owner is called a “transfer of equity.” According to MoneyHelper, this involves:
- Agreeing a valuation – You’ll need to establish the property’s current market value. Getting valuations from multiple estate agents or a RICS-qualified surveyor helps ensure fairness.
- Calculating the buyout amount – This is typically your partner’s share of the equity (property value minus outstanding mortgage).
- Securing finance – You may need to remortgage in your sole name to raise the funds. Your lender will assess whether you can afford the payments alone.
- Legal transfer – A conveyancer will handle the paperwork to transfer your partner’s share to you and update the Land Registry.
Practical Considerations
If you’re considering a buyout, you’ll need to think about:
- Affordability – Can you realistically afford the mortgage and running costs alone?
- Mortgage approval – Will your lender agree to transfer the mortgage to your sole name?
- Tax implications – There may be stamp duty or capital gains tax considerations, particularly for unmarried couples. We’d recommend consulting a tax adviser.
However difficult relations may be with your ex-partner, try to communicate openly when proposing a buyout. A fair offer based on a professional valuation is more likely to be accepted than a figure plucked from thin air.
How to Convince Your Partner to Sell
When you and your partner hold different views on selling, emotions can run high. The property represents security, identity, and often years of shared memories. Approaching the conversation thoughtfully can make all the difference.
Have an Honest Conversation
Before jumping to legal options, try to understand what’s driving your partner’s reluctance. Are they worried about where they’ll live? Concerned about finances? Simply not ready to accept the relationship is over?
Recognising their perspective – even if you disagree – shows respect and can help shift the conversation from confrontation to problem-solving.
From our experience: We’ve seen many situations where initial refusal to sell eventually became agreement once underlying concerns were addressed. Sometimes offering to handle the sale process, covering moving costs, or agreeing a fair timeline makes all the difference.
Consider Mediation
If direct conversations aren’t working, a professional mediator can help. Mediation provides a neutral space to discuss options, with someone trained to facilitate difficult conversations. It’s far less expensive and adversarial than going to court, and many couples find it helps them reach agreement.
MoneyHelper provides information on finding a mediator, and you may be eligible for legal aid to cover mediation costs.
Focus on Shared Goals
Despite your differences, you likely share some common ground – perhaps both wanting to move on with your lives, ensuring financial security, or minimising conflict. Framing discussions around these shared goals, rather than opposing positions, can help reveal solutions that work for everyone.
What About the Mortgage?
If your property has an outstanding mortgage, this adds another layer to consider. Both names on the mortgage mean both parties remain liable for repayments, regardless of who lives there.
Selling With a Mortgage
When you sell, the mortgage must be repaid from the sale proceeds before either of you sees any money. You’ll need to ensure the sale price is sufficient to:
- Repay the mortgage in full (get a redemption statement from your lender)
- Cover selling costs (estate agent fees, conveyancing, etc.)
- Leave enough for both parties to move forward
If you’re in negative equity (owing more than the property is worth), selling becomes more complex. You’d need to negotiate with your lender or make up the shortfall from other funds.
Staying on the Mortgage After Separation
If one partner remains in the property, both parties typically stay on the mortgage until it can be transferred to one name alone. This means:
- Both credit files remain linked
- The departed partner may struggle to get a new mortgage while still liable for the existing one
- If payments are missed, both parties’ credit scores suffer
This is why many separating couples prefer a clean break through sale, even if it’s not their first choice.
Your Options for Selling
Once you’ve both agreed to sell (or obtained a court order), you’ll need to choose how to proceed.
Traditional Estate Agent Sale
Selling through an estate agent is the most common approach. They’ll market your property, conduct viewings, and negotiate with buyers to achieve the best price.
Advantages: Typically achieves the highest sale price; agents handle most of the process.
Disadvantages: Takes 3-6 months on average; can be longer if chains collapse. When you’re selling after a separation, this extended timeline can be problematic – circumstances change, and a reluctant partner might have second thoughts.
Auction
Property auctions can be faster than traditional sales. Once the hammer falls, the buyer is legally committed and must complete within a set timeframe (usually 28 days).
Advantages: Fast completion; certainty once sold.
Disadvantages: Reserve prices are typically set conservatively; final price is uncertain; limited buyer pool; no guarantee your property will sell on the day.
Cash Property Buyers
Companies like Property Rescue specialise in fast property purchases for situations exactly like this. We buy properties directly for cash, with no estate agent fees or lengthy chains.
How it works: We provide a free, no-obligation cash offer based on your property’s value. If you accept, we can typically complete the purchase within 1-2 weeks. You and your partner receive your shares of the proceeds, and you’re both free to move on.
When this makes sense: Many separating couples find a quick cash sale invaluable when:
- One partner is reluctant and might change their mind during a lengthy sale
- You need certainty and speed to move on with your lives
- The property needs work that neither party wants to invest in
- You want to avoid the stress of viewings and negotiations during an already difficult time
A recent example: We helped a couple in Birmingham who had been stuck in limbo for over a year. One partner had moved out but was still paying half the mortgage on a property they couldn’t live in. The other partner had finally agreed to sell but kept finding reasons to delay. We made them an offer on Monday, they accepted on Wednesday, and we completed the sale within ten days. Both received their share and were finally able to close that chapter.
Summary: Your Path Forward
Selling a property when one partner refuses can feel impossible, but there are always options:
- Start with conversation – Understanding your partner’s concerns may reveal a path to agreement.
- Know your legal rights – Whether through TOLATA or divorce proceedings, courts can order a sale if agreement isn’t possible.
- Consider a buyout – If one of you wants to keep the property, this might be the cleanest solution.
- Choose the right sale method – Factor in your circumstances. Sometimes speed and certainty matter more than maximising price.
- Seek professional advice – A family law solicitor can help you understand your specific situation and options.
Whatever route you choose, remember that this difficult period will pass. The right approach can help you both move forward with clarity and fairness.
This guide shares practical insights from our experience helping separating couples sell their homes. For advice specific to your legal situation, we’d always recommend consulting a family law solicitor or property dispute specialist. If you’d like to explore a quick sale as an option, contact Property Rescue for a free, no-obligation cash offer.
